Helping Children Say Goodbye to a Pet at Home
When a pet is nearing the end of their life, choosing to say goodbye at home can feel gentler and more peaceful. However, for families with children, it can be hard to know how to prepare them, what to say, and how to help them cope afterwards. Every child is different, but there are some loving ways to guide them through this experience.
Preparing your child before the appointment
Be honest but gentle. Use simple words like died and death rather than “put to sleep,” which can confuse children and even make them fear bedtime. A short, clear explanation helps them feel safe and trust what you say.
Give them a choice. Some children want to be present when the vet comes, others would rather not. Let them know either choice is okay. Preparing them for what they might see or hear can reduce fear.
Adapt your words to their age:
- Young children (2–5): Keep it short and concrete: “Fluffy is very sick, and their body can’t get better. The vet will help Fluffy to die so that they don’t hurt anymore.”
- School age (6–9): Offer a little more detail, answer questions, and gently correct any worries they may have, for example; “It’s not because of anything you did or said.”
- Older children/teens: Be direct, include more detail if they want it, and respect their need for space.
During the euthanasia
If your child chooses to stay, make it clear they can come and go as they wish. Explain step by step what will happen in simple terms that your child can understand, the vet will likely help you, guiding you through the procedure using language that is appropriate for your child: first a calming injection, then the final medicine that stops the pet’s heart. Explain that your pet will receive medicine that is only for animals, never for people, so that they do not fear medicine in the future. Let them know the pet may look like they’re sleeping but may still have their eyes open, or they may twitch or take a last deep breath; this is natural and not painful.
It can be helpful to give the something to do. Small, comforting roles such as holding a favourite toy or blanket, stroking their pet, drawing a picture to leave with them, or even waiting in another room and joining later. Knowing they have options can make them feel secure.
After saying goodbye
Create a ritual. Plant a flower or tree, make a memory box, draw pictures, or share stories at dinner. These small acts help children honour their pet and feel that love continues.
Notice feelings in all their forms. Children may cry, become quiet, act out, or have changes in sleep or appetite. All are normal ways of showing grief. Acknowledge their feelings gently: “I can see you’re sad/angry/tired. That’s okay, I feel that way too.”
Keep routines. Sticking to school, meals, and bedtime provides comfort and stability during an emotional time.
Return to memories often. In the weeks ahead, look through photos, write letters, or tell funny stories about your pet. This keeps the bond alive in a healthy way.
Signs your child might need extra support
It’s normal for children to feel sad for weeks. But if you notice ongoing problems with sleep, school, friendships, or mood, or if your child seems stuck in their sadness, it may help to reach out for support.
Helpful organisations in the UK include:
- Child Bereavement UK — guidance and helpline support
- Winston’s Wish — resources for grieving children
- Cruse Bereavement Care — support for all types of loss
- RSPCA and PDSA — advice on talking to children about pet euthanasia
Books that may comfort children
- When a Pet Dies by Fred Rogers
- The Tenth Good Thing About Barney by Judith Viorst
- I’ll Always Love You by Hans Wilhelm
- The Invisible Leash by Patrice Karst
These stories use gentle language and relatable illustrations to help children express their feelings and hold on to special memories.
A few final thoughts
Saying goodbye to a beloved pet at home is an act of love. For children, it can also be their first real experience of loss. With honesty, choice, and comfort, you can help them navigate it in a way that feels safe and loving, building resilience and preserving happy memories of their pet for years to come.
